All the new stuff from new members. Go figure.
“I’m just tired.”
What, with that hundred pound weight resting on my heart like a queen in her throne. A soft moaning that escapes from deep in my throat. Veins in my cheeks chewed numb. Hands that clutch desperately at my stomach, eyes a constant nuisance to my brain. This trembling right beneath my skin, beneath my sickly cold skin.
Nails on chalkboard in my ears. Shadows in my eyes. And chills running down my spine.
I’ve just been so tired, for too long…
Some people have no taste for the finer things in life…
I found my heart the other day
It wasn’t what I thought it’d be
Wrapped round it counted down a clock
Below that, a triangle slot for a key
This tick tocking ticker left me rather puzzled
A foil to the staple of Valentine’s Day
The time keeper tocked, and my mind was unsettled
When watching the ticker keep ticking away
What could this timer be counting towards?
Strapped to my heart, could it mark my death?
Panic built up as I realized
The clock had only minutes left
I ran out of breath as the breadth sank in
In 90 seconds I may die
I tried to stop it
I tried to slow it
I counted down seconds when the clock reached 0:0:03(three)
As I fought down a full body lurch
Then from the watch face fell a hexagon key
And a slip of paper with one word written
And that’s the problem in having no God- you fold onto your knees, your face in your hands as you lay out all your vulnerability, prostrate your shame in being human in front of no one. The throne is empty for you don’t believe in the ideal which others kneel before. Those around you seek and…
okay, i feel like i need to explain this piece now (i being Sunshine)
I’m an atheist. The “you” in this piece is referring to me. I believe with absolute conviction that there is no God. I have no higher power, other than my morals, values, and my ridiculous amount of empathy for others. I live morally and kindly and respectfully and give to others without looking to religion for guidance.
However, occasionally I get frustrated with having only myself to look to. Again, that doesn’t mean I’m ready to throw all logic out the window and decide, “Fuck it, I’ll just believe in God and see what the fuck happens.” This piece is about that occasional frustration. To the person that sent me this ask, I’m sorry if you took this as me trying to tell you you need religion or that you’re not a good person because you’re an atheist, or however you interpreted this piece.
Honestly I’m still kind of confused why you brought up morals and you being a good person in the first place.
Anyway, the you in this piece is me, not the reader. obye.Source: tgos
I went with roses
But no rose could show
All the things I never got to say
Surrounded by trees
That swayed in the breeze
And I prayed
I placed the two roses
And my scripted proposal
I don’t suppose she’d have said yes
The wind stilled
And blew one of her roses
But one, yes one
Frosted rose still remains
A call to reminisce
And cherish warmer days
But sadly just as sure as living water turns to haze
In that box
With its buckles and locks
Her cold still body